noelleroys: I can tell you the exact date, time, place and venue, who I was with, where I was in the crowd and the order the bands played in of every single show I’ve ever been to, but I can’t remember half of what I did last week.
thesleepscience: Things don’t always seem how they appear. Sometimes what seems to be the end is really just a new beginning. Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. So stop being sad and smile. That problem you are going through right now will go away real soon. I promise. Your friend, B
Fulfill yourself before trying to complicate your life by intertwining it with...– (via theemptybluesky)
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life : it goes...– GoodReads